FORTNITE addictive, violent, and kids love it. Should you be worried? (ADHD in child form) (MAKE IT STOP) stop (Crysis 2 – Main Theme) please (Crysis 2 – Main Theme) this cannot continue (Crysis 2 – Main Theme) (future bully victims right here) (Crysis 2 – Main Theme) ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (Crysis 2 – Main Theme) So… I have 4 um… 4 boys. Varying in ages. So, my oldest is 20. Pyro: You guys wanna know a story of something that is more terrifying and more horrific than a Happy Wheels lets play? *shitty happy wheels let’s play(s)* *An Attempt to Summon Satan* You know that game, Fortnite? You probably don’t. It’s quite a niche game. Not many people have been talking about it. None that I know of. Well that game, Fortnite, has started a trend recently – a competiton. and it’s… *pussy lips* Random streamer: “What’s up? Fortnite community,” “The ‘boogie down’ is a dance contest with the total of 100 winners.” “To celebrate you, the fans…” Pyro: Could we just- uh… Cou- could we just get a picture of a Fortnite fan? The typical Fortnite player here? Please? Ju- just something? I’m gonna just go in my image folder, and pick whatever I could find is the first image. “To celebrate you, the fans.. we’re calling upon our most passionate gamers to show us their best moves.. ..with the first place winner’s (dance) created as an emote in Fortnite! So I took to Twitter, and I looked up the #BoogieDown hastag. So let’s see some Fun, Original, and Creative dance moves to submit to Fortnite. “I liked the way the show started” “Aw shiet” *haha so funni XD* Pyro: You can probably tell how this video’s gonna go. *quality cancer* Pyro: Ok? *moar cancer* “Y’all ready?” Pyro: No. “This is called The Random.” Pyro: Oh… for fucks sake. *Pyrocynical Laugh™* Pyro: Oh… it’s just there’s no- there’s no music. There’s no music to accompany this. It’s just some- some goddamn kid. “Some Goddamn Kid”: This is also great exercise. *too much cringe* Pyro: Did he say that was “exercise”? I hate life. I despise life, and everything in it. See, this is the problem with Fortnite. Like, it’s gone mainstream, and it’s absolutely huge now. So, all the “normies” just infest it, And any meme, or any sense of like originality in the game is just totally destroyed. Like Brendan Green, the guy who made Battlegrounds, he must wanna genuinely off himself right now because of how successful Fortnite is. PUBG? Just some advice, you guys need to go free-to-play, alright? I appreciate you puttin’ PUBG on mobile. That’s great, I’m happy for ya. You need to go free-to-play, Or you guys are screwed. That was some advice from Pyrocynical™. Take it, or leave it. I mean, I’m the one watching this fuckin’ try not to laugh challenge video. My name is Wyatt! This is the #BoogieDown challenge (for?) Fortnite! Pyro: Right, this guy’s actually got music, so it should be somewhat more competent. *The Calm Before The Storm* Go on- go on, Wyatt *The Definition of Cancer* Uh, Jesus Christ. L O O K A T T H O S E K N E E S, B O I. Pyro *Lesbian Voice*: LOOK AT THOSE KNEES. You know what? Actually, I mean, this is some ghetto boi he’s got a- he’s got a goddamn Xbox 360 in the room right there like i-it’s 2009. I mean you didn’t say it was exercise at the end of the video so I-I’ll uhh… give you that. *Vietnamese Flashbacks* [Half-Life 1 Scientist hurt sound] Pyro: Right, this one has some crying emojies (aka Mini Cancer) as the Snapchat. Oh no, not another one. *Pyrocynical Laugh™* There- there’s not even volume. But m8, ugh. Right, let’s give it a watch. Let’s give it a watch. *aids.wmv* *Pyro’s dying from the inside* There’s no- there’s no noise. Guys, if you wanna do a Fortnite challenge, uhh Boogie, Boogie2988. Btw, when I saw this #BoogieDown, I thought that Boogie actually died. NO NOT OUR BELOVED FATHER NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO s p l a s h Right, we got one here from “HardLadBrad”. “Yo, this is my submission to the #BoogieDown contest uhhmm” Go on, Brad. Go on. You’re a hard lad. GO ON, BRAD. GO ON, BRAD. (This ain’t 2013, wtf?) (This is when God had lost faith in humanity) *Pyro’s losing faith in humanity* *Pyrocynical Laugh™* *Pyrocynical Laugh™* “HOPEFULLY I WIN” Plz vote 4 me guys, Or i’m gonna fuckin’ jump out the window otherwise You know what though? Actually, I gotta give respect to all these people I’m viewing. Because they’re actually, like putting the effort in They’re putting themself on the Internet. They’re embarrasing themselves. So, I have mad respect to all these people. Just… “hey fortnite” “hashteg boogydoawn” It’s like uhh… It’s like Alex Mercer from Prototype, ain’t it? This is what happened to him. He didn’t die at the end of the second game. *Pyro’s impressed by a young mime* You know what? That’s actually really good. Like, I’m giving everyone smack, but that’s… *Painful pause as Pyro tries to not scream in agony* That kid is actually really competent. That’s good, that is. Uh… Young PewDiePie… Congratulations, m8, you’ve won the #BoogieDown challenge. I don’t understand why the devs have made this a competition. It’s like, if your game is mainstream, you just know that all your fans are just gonna be the age of 4. NOOO. NoOoOO. You know what? I wanna say something now, alright? C-Cause this is actually annoying me right now. Everyone is saying this kid looks like me HE DON’T LOOK LIKE ME, AT ALL. *Comparing young pyro to his adult self* I don’t look like this kid. Do I look like that kid? (Yes, you do.) I don’t think so. (I disagree.) Ok there you go, this kid’s got music. Go on, my son. No, he’s just pissed off, alright? (Make it stop, please.) (I’m begging you, please stop.) Oh my… There we go, the whip. Ahh… I want to die. (So do I, Pyro.) This is our generation. This is our generation of children. You think I’m sitting here, just making a funny video for ad revenue. I’m actually spiraling into a deep depression and I hate myself. So first prize, your dance is created as an actual emote within the game. Which is uh… A lifetime of embarrasment, unless you’re this fine gentleman here. An Exclusive IRL “Boogie Bomb”, Which is… basically a disco ball. You get a $10 disco ball. You get 10,000 V-Bucks. “Well, we’re going to be giving away 25 dollars worth of V-Bucks to 50 different people” P̛͇̫̱͓͕l̢͉̫̠͇͍̀͠e̛̟̥̤̹̣̕ḁ̹͞͝s̬̀͠e̛͏̘͍̻̪͎͚̞͘ ͜͢͏̟̼̜̪ͅe̴͏̮̲͍͙͖̗̟̘͟ͅn̞̟̖̦̪͝ͅd̥̹̬̥̻͓̼ͅ ̴͍̰̹m̵͈̞͠y̤͓̰̥̬͈̮ͅ ̶̦͔̯͕̝̠͢l̵̝i̳̬͠f̷̢̥̦͎̺̗̰̥̘̹ȩ͇̻̙̜̪̜̟̝.̸̨̣̙̦̰ (The end of humanity.) *Pyro’s considering suicide* MHMMMMMMM That’s not a move. You wanna see a move? I’LL SHOW YOU A MOVE M̍̾ͤ̈ͥ̋͌͏̢̛̛̞̟̞̮̙͉͇͙͓͔͚̯̙̲̜̖I̗͚̩̲̦̪̜̼̻͚͐ͦ̑̍ͧ̌ͬ̀͜I͌̆͊̓͗̓̇̊҉҉͝҉̞̬̥͎̟͚̣̥̩͇̘͈̯N̨̛̄̿̅͟͏̯̩̥̗͕̹̣̻͕E̴̳̫̲͍̯̝͙̤͖̱̜̟̮̗̱̤̮̔ͪͤ̊ͥ̍̌ͪ̃̚͢ ̠̫̩̻͙̰̮̣͑̍̆̀̒ͤ̍͌̀̈̆̒̃ͪ̔́̚͢͡D̛ͯ̿̒̌ͬ̾́҉̻̖̠͎̼͎̪̫̯̥͍̟͔̣̘͈̜͙͠I͛ͩ̅̋̽ͬ̀͑͂ͤ̋͛̂ͤ͋͝҉̧̼͈̼̜͈̱̺̞͉͎̰̮̦̫͎̳̟͜͡A̷̢̙̳̹̝̤͍̞͚̖̰̳̮̪̯̜̲͕͍ͥ͑́̃ͮ́– Max Payne: “[…]To make any kind of sense of it, I need to go back 3 years, back to the night the pain started.” WE ARE MINING DIAMONDS ♩ I have crippling depression. ♩ You can also do a little bit- a little bit of fencing as well. A rare video of a Japanese soldier comitting seppuku after finding out that the country surrendered to the U.S. Date: August 15, 1945 (Colorized) I’ve dedicated the entire videos to… Bullying children. The ironic joke that people make every video, and I’m actually doing it. Right, you got this kid here in a hygiene mask, clearly trying to hide his identity. I’ve noticed that pretty much every single person that does any of these submissions, they rely on Drake music. Drake music is the backbone to all Fortnite submissions. If you’re not playing Drake, then it is a wasted opportunity. It would be nice if someone could do like a #BoogieDown video with just like Linkin Park or something. I- I’d appreciate that. I’d think you’d definitely win. *e d g y* *le shake* *A disappointed Pyro* WHAT THE FUCK. You guys heard of that dancing move called uh, “walking in the street”? Yeah, that should be in Fortnite. I think “walking”. You know that thing you do, right? When you uh… when you- you sit. You- I- I sit like this, and then I go down, And tha- that is “Le sit”. That is gonna be the best move in all of Fortnite. So I hope you guys enjoyed. Be sure to like and subscribe. See, this man here, this man here is a genius. Why? ‘Cause he’s not showing his face. You may call him a coward, he’s probably the most intelligent person in this entire video. Right, you have guns in your bag. That’s not a good start. *inhale* Your- *sigh* *inhale again* YOUR ENTRY WAS EMPTYING A BAG. Yeah guys, I hope you enjoy my Fortnite entry. It’s this new meme. It’s called “emptying ur bag”. It’s great. I put a lot of effort into it. Y-Yeah, you just empty your fuckin’ bag. Max Payne: “They were all dead,” “The final gunshot was an exclamation ma-” Pyro: HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE ONE WHERE YOU SIT? *shitty_entry.mp4* “wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo” Pyro: I respect that. (What about the mime.) That’s probably- that’s the best one in the entire video. *Pyrocynical Laugh™* Right, I got sent one here, and it is just… Think of every preset After Effects plugin ever just combined into one video. *oooh pretty* Right, he turned into a christmas tree, nice. *Has the new flash movie been leaked?* *ghetto.avi* *The new “Doctor Strange” movie is coming along nicely* He just chroma-keyed half the- eh *Pyrocynical Laugh™* It’s just this part of- *Pyrocynical Laugh™* Like, imagine if this kid went missing, and you just put him on a poster “Have you seen this child?” Anyways bros, I hope you all enjoyed this total mess of a video. Uh… I know it’s a Fortnite video. I do apologize. You’re probably all sick of it at this point. It’s basically becoming the new Logan Paul. If you enjoyed, leave a like on the video, subscribe, So you can just tell me how much you goddamn hate me in the comments. I’d appreciate that. I also wanted to say I attended Insomnia 62. If you saw me there, that’s great. It was nice meeting all of you. You’re all such humbly nice people, And I got some really cool stuff like this. Look at this man. I love free stuff, It means that I don’t have to pay for it Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed, and I’ll see you in the next video bros. *BROFIST* [Whitewoods – Beach Walk] I hate living in every facet of the word. I- I despise living.